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- How Not to Flip Out on Your Kids: 15 Ways to Keep Cool
Being a parent, you never imagined you'd turn into that scene at the park, the one you promised yourself you'd never be. You know, the yelling, the threats – the whole shebang. It's a slippery slope, and somehow, you find yourself on it. We’ve all been there. It’s not ideal, but the important thing is recognizing when you do it and how you can work to prevent it from happening again.
Looking back, I feel as though my son picked up some negative traits early on because of my stress during his toddler years. In my experience, I lost my cool because of something that was going on with ME - something internal; something from work. Maybe I was tired, maybe something didn’t go as planned that day. 9 times out of 10 it was me. Not my son. Over the short amount of time that has passed I’ve recognized this fault and worked on it daily. Some of the below tips helped me. I hope the same for you if it’s something you’re struggling with.
My loss is your gain. Try not to make the same mistake.
I would love to help you break free from, or prevet, this cycle, redefine your default, and reduce those daily apologies to your kids.
Let’s get into it, fellas.
Performance Mode: Pretend there's an audience. Act like someone's watching your parenting show. You'll magically start following all those golden "parent rules" – consistency, calmness, firm but fair. You know the drill.
Teacher Mode: Imagine your child isn't yours but your student. Teachers never yell, right? Channel that inner educator.
Rule Enforcer with a Twist: Don't just be the enforcer; be the teacher. Show them the ropes and explain the why behind the rules.
Temper Alert: Recognize the signs of an impending eruption. Is the noise level hitting concert-worthy decibels? Toys staging a rebellion? Dinner running fashionably late? Spot it, fix it – it's usually the little things brewing into a parental explosion.
Whisper, Don't Shout: Volume down, impact up. Speak softly; it works wonders.
Time-Outs Aren't Just for Kids: Give yourself a breather. Step into another room, cool down, then return to address the issue.
Rest Up: Adults get cranky when tired – surprise, surprise. Prioritize those ZZZs.
Future Vision: Think long-term. Consider the repercussions of your actions today on their memories tomorrow, next week, and beyond. Don't crush their spirits in a fit of temper.
Sweat it Out: Exercise is your therapy. Release that stress and set an example for the little ones.
Consistency is King: Hardest part of the gig, but kids need you to be a consistent beacon in their chaotic world.
Positive Prelude: Kick off with a positive note. Acknowledge the good before addressing the not-so-good.
Stress Ball Therapy: Squeeze away the frustration. Therapists swear by it.
Talking Stick Time: Introduce a talking stick. When the child holds it, they've got the floor. Switch roles – it's your chance to explain.
No Ping Pong Arguments: Avoid the back-and-forth. It only fuels the fire.
Golden Rule – Be Kind: Above all, kindness prevails. Firm but fair, remember? They won't recall the chaos; they'll remember your reactions. Be the example you'd be proud of. Right now, your kids are a mini version of you – make sure it's a version worth emulating. Be the parent you want your children to become in thirty years. You're a stellar parent – if you weren't, you wouldn't be here. Let your kids see that side of you. Stay classy, parenting squad.
Here’s to continually learning.
- Nick